Here is a website where you will find the [brand] company that makes [keyword]. [Brand]’s [keyword]s are some of the best [keyword phrase] examples that can be found in the [primary location] area. [Brand] started their business with a commitment to making the highest quality [keyword] using [secondary keyword] techniques that have proven to yield consistently good [keyword phrase] that are very [keyword]. They also provide sales and service in [secondary location and secondary location].
Click here for a helpful page on their site that explains how you can make your own [keyword] without any assistance from [brand], which, of course is not in their best interest, but which helps [brand] get you to click on their website. [Brand] hopes that you will realize that it is easier to simply buy a [keyword] from them than to try to make one yourself. If you click on this pretty icon over here, it will take you to a page that is chock full of [keywords] that an SEO expert has determined will help [brand]’s search rankings for people who search those terms, but not necessarily similar terms, which could rank high or lower, depending on how the Google algorithm has changed lately.
[Brand] has spent a great deal of time agonizing over which [keywords] to use in what combinations and how often without overusing them to the point that Google puts them in the Google sandbox. [Brand] hopes that you will understand or ignore that the awkward use of [keyword], [keyword phrase], [keyword], [primary location], and [secondary location] references that result, at times, in nearly unreadable text is being done to attract your valuable attention and not to drive you crazy.
Oh, the things we do for Google.
Look, I get that Google provides a very simple and valuable service—helping people find answers to their questions. Of course, in order to do this incredible work of providing 532,000 search results in 0.72 seconds for the words “cat shaving techniques” (yes, a real example), Google has to spend a lot of money on computers and, you know, software stuff. I appreciate what Google does to help me and others find information. But, wow, they are causing marketers do funny things to their websites.
Of course, Google stays very busy fine-tuning their search engine algorithm. I don’t think most people in marketing or branding had heard the word “algorithm” in years, if at all, until Google started building its very impressive example. And changing it. And then updating it. Like, every day, it seems. We’re doing our best to keep up with their tweaks and adjustments. Fortunately, we can Google to find out more about Google from Google and other sources. And I trust that Google doesn’t have a special algorithm to monkey with those results. (How would I know, anyway?)
So, I have just one small request that I would like to make, and I present this humbly and without expectation of results for fear of angering the Google monster and having my website banished to their sandbox (yes, it’s real) or worse.
If it’s not too much trouble, could you possibly adjust your elaborate algorithm to encourage smooth and natural use of the English language? One where you would discourage keywords being used every third word? I’m not sure this is even possible, since your approach is entirely empirical and can’t derive subtlety of meaning or context very effectively. Maybe this is something you’re working on, though. After all, in Google we trust. Like it [keyword] or not.
As published in the Central Penn Business Journal and Lehigh Valley Business.